“People change” a phrase I have come across many times and sometimes I have used it as well but might not anymore. An incident which I faced recently made me wonder whether they do or not?
When we have known someone for a long time we think of them in a certain way and expect them to be a person who we think they will be. Most of the times we tend to see only the good in those people who we are close to, whether it’s your partner, best friend or just a normal friend because we love them. Since they have always been good to us so far, we expect them to be the same all the time and ignore the fact that sometimes they can hurt us. When one day something bad they do or say to us will make us realize of it. Then we say ‘you have changed’ because that’s not the person who we expected them to be. Is it right to blame them? Or should we think of what is it that really changed? The more I thought about it, I realized that it’s not the person; it’s my imagination of that person which changed. I realized just because someone has not hurt you so far doesn’t mean that they will never. May be they have always been that person who you ignored because you imagined or wished them to be someone else.
So what happens when you realize it and get disappointed? Whose fault is it? Will you completely forget that person? Or will you forget the person who you wished they’ll be and embrace the reality? It’s easy to get angry and let someone go from your life but not so easy to forget them. I believe sometimes it's good when people leave because when they come back it makes you realise how much you missed them when they were gone. So the best is to get over the disappointments, learn to let go of the past and be familiar with the fact that “You can’t expect someone else to be a person who you think they’ll be” because in life people are definitely going to disappoint you. It’s easy to point your finger at someone but sometimes it’s no body’s fault. If you don’t expect too much and learn to forgive probably you can be less disappointed and you’ll be able to cherish every person in your life. Life is too short to have hatred and sadness in it and be away from people who you love and care about.
So the next time you say ‘people change’ make sure to think twice whether it’s really the person or whether reality kicked your imagination.
Nads R
29/11/10
